quirk

Purple bells.

I'm just saying...

Actually, as you read this, dear blog-surfers, I am trapped in a business meeting, far far away from home... Well, okay. Four hours away from home, but it might as well be far far away. Undoubtedly the sun is shining. Undoubtedly the sky is clear and blue and the world is filled with joy and bird song and all that. I won't know. I will, undoubtedly, be locked in a windowless room with a group of people who are just as thrilled to be deprived of the pleasures of the outside world as I am ... I will be buried beneath stacks of reports printed in a font so small that the only twenty year olds can make it out. (Note of a pet peeve -- if they want experienced management, you would think they would consider printing the reports in a font size that the average 40+ year old can read without suffering eye strain.) I will be dressed uncomfortably in business attire, trying to discreetly slip my feet in and out of the high heels that feel great, but only for about the first hour and a half. I will, at some point in the middle of the day, once the coffee buzz and excess of carbon dioxide has reached a level that could be categorized as critical, then get to have a lunch conveniently delivered to the meeting room -- a lunch that will, undoubtedly, consist of some kind of deli sandwich that bears at least one piece of produce that has gone over to the dark side. There will be a cookie that I will try to resist, and will eat anyway, and will instantly regret. There will not be fresh fruit. After lunch there will not be a nap, although, we will ALL wish there was one. There WILL, however, be more stacks of reports. In an effort to rouse the room back to a state of interest, there will, undoubtedly, be a game of some kind that will, undoubtedly, involve some kind of role play. I will hope to get to play the role of the disgruntled employee. This will continue until approximately 6 p.m., when we will break for about an hour to go up to our rooms and change clothes -- undoubtedly into evening-style business attire (e.g., the same type of outfit as during the day but made up of black or white combined with a bright color as opposed to the somber-please-oh-please-don't-look-at -me colors that dominate the daytime portion of the meeting -- because, don't be fooled -- dinner is STILL a continuation of the meeting. If you think it isn't you are either new or will learn soon enough or won't last long.) Then, finally, we'll get to go back to our rooms where we will finally kick off those darn shoes, kick back onto the bed, call home for a bit of commiseration, and get to bed early, because we get to do it again tomorrow.


On the plus side, I get to have all this fun with a really great group of people. And I usually come away from these meetings a lot better off than before I went. They are seldom a wasted of time. Still. If you can think of a way to rescue us all ... please ... I'm just saying...